So far my blog has very much focused on my impending life as a student but of course, a major part of my life is taken up being ‘Mummy’ or “My Mummy” as the Little Man has started referring to me as. And on that note, today I have a simple request for you all…please be kind to mothers. I am fortunate to have a wonderful family, some fantastic friends and am also very lucky to be a part of an online community of amazing mothers. One thing that I have seen time and again through all of my interactions with other Mummies is that sometimes, we’re like swans. No, not aggressive and territorial, (okay maybe a little of the last one). To all viewing us from above the surface, we glide (usually with a glass of wine in hand, but still gliding.) Some days though, those legs are kicking so flipping hard under the water, just to keep us, our families and our sanity, upright! And that is where everyone else comes in.
No matter how together we may seem to you, we’re all winging this. We’re making decisions all the waking day about how to bring/drag up our children. Sometimes we may get it wrong and that’s okay. So, please, if you’re reading this and you have a wife, daughter, sister, friend who looks like they may be struggling or making a wrong decision, please think before you offer your sage wisdom. We know it comes from a good place, we know you’re just trying to help but unless we ask for it, it may not be as helpful as you intend it to be. In fact, it may end up making us question ourselves and our decisions. And one thing I have learnt on this rollercoaster ride so far, is that our instinct is there for a reason and usually, it’s right. So, unless you’re truly concerned about a child’s welfare, please let us trust it.
Instead of advice, what really helps a mother or any parent for that matter, is reminding them what a great job they are doing. I’m not saying to shout it from the rooftops or a big heartfelt Facebook status necessarily, but a quick txt or a word in their ear to remind them that they have got this. That, when their child was kicking and screaming in the supermarket because they REALLY wanted that chocolate eclair, you were proud of how they handled it. Or when they’re a parent in the throes of getting very little sleep and they still remembered to post your birthday card (late, but still), that you appreciated the effort. Parenting is bloody hard work and often it is a thankless job, so please do your bit to remind your loved ones how brilliant they are for doing what they do.
And for any parents who are reading this, you really have got this. You sacrifice so much every day, your time, your space, your ability to drink a hot caffeinated beverage and for that you are brilliant. Even when you feel like you’re not, you are. The fact that you haven’t given up, even when it’s really, really bloody hard, shows that. A very lovely lady who I have gotten to know, totally hit the nail on the head recently when she said to someone having a bad day, “be kind to yourself”. Please don’t beat yourself up if it’s all going tits up. Go get that chocolate bar, that bag of crisps, that glass of wine, wherever it is you find your comfort, accept that today isn’t the greatest and put your faith in the fact that tomorrow is a new day and it may be a better one. And if it isn’t, head back out to the shops, restock and be kind to yourself some more.
Sorry for the slightly emotional ramblings but I know a few Mummies right now who could do with reminding of their greatness and this seemed like a good opportunity for me to do it.