I am ACTUALLY going to do this!

I am currently sitting in our new home (aka my Parent’s house) having just completed another piece of homework, it’s not due until Thursday but I am starting as I mean to go on and that means being organised. We are all unpacked, I have purchased some earplugs (essential when your roommate is a toddler) and the Husband is baking me some delicious sweet snacks to help get me through my first week. It is only 2 more sleeps now until this journey really gets underway and I think my mind has been so tied up with moving in with my parents/making sure the Little Man is happy/trying to find some money for childcare (an ongoing battle, so continue to watch this space) that I really haven’t had time to think about starting this course. And as this latest piece of homework involved researching a real life article and writing about it, it’s really hit home that this is it. I am ACTUALLY going to do this. Bloody hell!

It was a while ago that I got offered my place and even longer since I applied so I think this weekend, my last of freedom, felt like such a long way off that I didn’t really think about it too much. But now I am and my tummy is filling up with butterflies (or stampeding elephants more accurately, thanks IBS!) People have asked me how I am feeling and honestly, right now, aside from those pesky elephants, I am excited. SO excited. I am not only getting the opportunity to study again, but I’m taking the first steps onto what will hopefully be a lifelong career. And I’m excited too that although I know I will be a nurse at the end of the course, beyond that, this could take me anywhere. I may end up working in research or even end up lecturing one day, that feeling of the world being my oyster is so exhilarating.

Of course, I wouldn’t be a normal human being if I wasn’t a little nervous. I am.

Anyone that knows me well, will know that I am very determined (or stubborn if you ask my family) so I know I will do this but it doesn’t mean that I can’t see that it’s not always going to be an easy ride. I’ve already mentioned how much I’m going to miss my partner in crime, the George to my Sharky (accept it Husband, you are George). But I know, that it’ll be worth it and that as a couple, we can handle it. I am also aware that I’m going to be missing out on time with the Little Man. Having almost always been a SAHM since he was born, it’s sad that this chapter is coming to an end. But, without being a big bragging showey off Mummy, he’s a clever chap. He’s as bright as a very shiny button and the stimulation they can give him at nursery is, in some ways, more than I can offer him. If nothing else, they’ll happily do arts and crafts with him without it ending up with him being held at arms length, whilst someone desperately tries to clean paint off his, well everywhere! Plus they have a huge wooden train in their garden, how can I compete with that?! I also know that socialising with our friends isn’t going to be quite as easy, even when we find the time, we don’t have the money to go out and drink all of the rum, like we used to. Oh Rum! But, we have some very amazing friends. They have supported us right from the offset and I have no doubt that they will continue to do so, even if we only manage to squeeze in a cuppa (& cake, obviously) with them once a month. And on the flipside of that, I am a little nervous about making new friends too. I know that due to the nature of the course, my fellow students are almost certainly going to be likeminded individuals but will they be able to put up with my grumps when I haven’t had enough sleep?! (Laura P, if you’re reading this, just feed me coffee and I’ll be okay).

So before this turns into a role call of the characters from ‘Inside Out’, I want to say a huge thank-you to you all. You brilliant lot have been very lovely to me and told me how amazing I am to do this and even used the word ‘Inspiring’ but quite honestly, it doesn’t feel as profound as that. It just feels like this is what I am meant to do. I have previously mentioned that my Mum, has been part of the driving force behind me taking on this endeavour but there’s another lady who deserves some credit too. My Grandma Marion. Sadly, she passed away 4 years ago but when she first got poorly I got to spend some quality time with her on my own and she said to me “Grace, I’ve always felt it was a shame that you don’t use your degree”, well Grandma, this is for you. I’m sorry you’re not around to see me do this, but I carry you in my heart every day and those words have hung around my head since you said them and I am going to make you bloody proud of me. I promise.

Grandma Marion, thanks for the virtual kick up the arse!

So that’s that. My last post before I make this dream a reality and become a real-life Mature Student. Eek!

P.S. In order to avoid annoying anyone on my personal Facebook page who couldn’t give a hoot about my blog, I have set up a Uni Mummy page on there too. So going forward I will post updates there instead. So, if you want to continue following this journey, please go on here and ‘Like’ my page. And thanks again for reading, I’ll see you on the other side!