A bit of an impromptu post but I promised to keep you all updated and I also promised that I’d be honest about my journey, the good, the bad & the ugly. Tonight was somewhere between the middle and the latter.
Let me start with last night, Little Man came home from nursery, exhausted and some of the worst nappy rash we’ve had to deal with. Unsurprisingly he was in a sorry state. He’s not the snuggliest of little boys but last night when I asked him if he wanted a bath, his response was “No Mummy, snuggle!”.
It didn’t then come as a surprise to me, that last night wasn’t a great night’s sleep for either of us.
So it’ll be no surprise to you, reader, that I wasn’t in the greatest mood starting the day. Add to my bad mood, a tired whingey toddler and the fact that I managed to burn my toast and set off the fire alarm all before 8am and you’ll understand why the last thing I wanted to do was sit in a lecture theatre all day.
But I did, I went, I learnt and I conquered…I conquered my caffeine intake, but I conquered none the less. In fact, I’m being a bit harsh on myself, I did actually go and do a bit of work on my lunch break which is handy because I may have replaced my hour of work tonight, with wine. Don’t judge.
Little Man’s nappy rash hasn’t improved, bathtime/bedtime was once again, a battle. And when I sat and read him his pre-bed story, I actually sat and cried. I’m so tired. My head is mush. And I keep thinking, what if I have another night like last night? How awful am I going to feel? And can I really do this, for 3.whole.years?!
I know that next week this will (hopefully) be a distant memory and I also know this won’t be the last time I feel like this but I hope that I can keep the fire in my belly for this course and this career, alive even when things get tough.