So I’ve not really been feeling the love about this journey of late. And if I’m honest, it’s how I’ve been feeling since before the new term started. There were lots of things that were on my mind about what the next year would entail, new lecturer, more assignments, more time away from Little Man and the Husband, higher expectations, the list could go on. And throw into the mix that at the moment, Politicians are very publicly making my chosen career feel so unbelievably undervalued. It has really made me wonder, is this all worth it?! Is it worth it when you’re putting your son to bed and jumping straight into some studying? Is it worth it when you’re driving away from your husband, and your son is crying because he misses his Daddy already? Is it worth it when you’re 30, living with your parents and getting cross that your Mum can’t stack the dishwasher properly?! (Sorry Mum!) And I really questioned if it was worth it when I sat doing some calculations and worked out that despite putting our lives on hold for 3 years in the hope of something better, The Husband and I will still be lucky if we can afford to buy ourselves a cardboard box to live in when I qualify!
With my parents away this week, the only company I’ve had, has been Little Man when he gets home from Nursery. And don’t get me wrong, we have some good chat in the evening, tonight’s topics of choice, how platelets work and what everyone in our house’s favourite colour is. So instead, I have these really annoying thoughts, going round and round in my head, irritating me more and more.
And then, my ‘little’ brother came over. My little brother, who is definitely not little, owns his own house and has a very responsible job. And we chatted. Okay, he chatted, I moaned. And then, when he got home he sent me a message that made most of those ‘what if’s’ evaporate into thin air. He reminded me that, whilst I am right to feel cross about the Government’s lack of value on Nurses and the subsequent poor pay, that is not why I chose this.
I chose to be a nurse because I want to make a difference. And yes, I may not necessarily feel like a superhero every day, but it only takes making the difference to one person for it all to be worth it. Because every person counts.
So, Politicians, you may not value me or what I am doing, but I do not care. I do care for all of those people who’s lives I can have a positive impact upon in my career. I do care that when my son is asked what his Mummy’s job is, he can say with pride “My Mummy is a Nurse”. I care about what is truly important in life and that is why I have chosen to train to be a nurse.