Spinning Plates.

At the end of last year, my path crossed with one of my old teachers from secondary school. When I told him about my latest adventure into nursing, he was unsurprised and said that I had always been “determined” as a young lady. Until that moment, I had always viewed my determination as something I had acquired since becoming a mother but apparently it was there all along. Since then, I have owned this characteristic of mine and generally, it is a wonderful trait to possess. It drives you forward & keeps you focused. However, sometimes, determination pushes you to take on the world, to push you to be the best in every aspect of your life and sometimes it becomes too much.

Little Man is currently on his Easter Holidays from Nursery and my parents have run off to Spain to soak up some sun (who can blame them?!), meaning that the first few days of the holidays were all down to me. And Solo Parenting, whilst not ideal, is something I have learned to accept. Usually, survival is the aim of the game each day but unfortunately, I also have an assignment due in May so I made a plan to try and get a little bit of Uni work done each day too. For the first couple of days, despite him not being in on my plan, Little Man did play on his own, quietly for short bursts. As a result, I actually managed to get a little bit of reading done. But because of my determination to achieve high grades, whatever work I had managed never felt enough. After Little Man had gone to bed, I sat on the sofa, looked at my diary and all I could see were the long days ahead where I knew I wouldn’t get much Uni work done. By the third day of minimal reading, I cracked. The stress I had tried to ignore, the stress that I had felt bubbling away in my tummy over the previous two days came to the surface, and it turned me into “Shouty Mummy”. No-one likes Shouty Mummy. Shouty Mummy says No, a lot. Shouty Mummy gets irritated by the 100 questions from Little Man that non-Shouty Mummy embraces as “inquisitive”. Shouty Mummy causes a Shouty Little Man. And all that shouting leads to exhaustion, one very sad Mummy and one very sad Little Man.

The next day, Little Man and I had a fun day out planned together, just the two of us. Something I had booked weeks before and had been really looking forward to. That night, the night of the Shouty Mummy, I really considered not bothering. The next morning, after a bad night’s sleep and a ridiculously early start, I was still not convinced the day out was a good idea. But then I turned over a new “Yes Mum” Card and it told me “Everything is going to be okay” and I thought, okay, let’s give this motto a go. So I did and we went. It wasn’t the best day out we’ve ever had, but we got through it and Shouty Mummy didn’t turn up, so that was great. After surviving our day out I then had to hand over Little Man to my in-laws who (along with The Husband) were looking after him for the weekend whilst I went away on a Hen Do. And that dear readers, that is the point when the Mum Guilt hit. Like a flipping lorry. I drove to Morrison’s, sat in their car park and sobbed. Sobbed because I was tired and sobbed because I truly felt like the worst Mummy in the world.

The same determination that is so productive, that keeps me glued to a library chair for hours at a time had stopped me from seeing that getting Uni work done when I was solo parenting Little Man was unrealistic. The determination that so far has rewarded me with good grades also stopped me from relaxing and enjoying my time with Little Man.

My present situation, this journey, often feels like spinning plates. My attention and time is needed in so many places and it is a real balancing act to make sure that nothing is neglected. Balance sounds great but is often hard to achieve. This fight for balance is likely to continue for the next 18 months. I am going to continue to feel pulled in lots of directions. My determination is going to make me strive to be the best Mummy, the best Wife and the best Student Nurse I can be. So many people to keep happy, so many plates to spin. But one thing that this recent experience has taught me, is that above all, my happiness is the most important plate to keep spinning.

The Hen Do I went on could not have been better timed, I switched off my social media, enjoyed quality time with some truly wonderful old friends and when Little Man and I were reunited my heart felt full to bursting. And this second week of the holidays could not have been further from the first. The Husband has used Annual Leave, commuted and worked from home all week. We have enjoyed 7 days of being a ‘normal’ family and I cannot put into words how brilliant that is. And you know what? I have hardly made a dent in my assignment this week but my goodness, I am happy.

The Fear.

Like most people, I don’t remember very much of the first few days of Little Man’s life. It was a blur of feeding, nappy changing and very little sleep. But one thing I do remember is lying in bed, overtaken by a feeling of terror that made my heart ache and my head swim. Filled with anxiety, my mind would run away with itself, envisaging scenarios where he would become ill or hurt and would be taken away from me. It was exhausting. I realise now that severe sleep deprivation and the general overwhelming nature of becoming a first time Mum had a lot to do with those early feelings of anxiety. As Little Man got bigger, less fragile and I got more sleep, the scenarios ebbed away. Occasionally a change in circumstances may see them rear their ugly head, like the first time we had a night away from him and I scared myself at the thought of not being able to protect him or when he was poorly and his temperature rocketed and in my head, this wasn’t just a cold.

At the grand age of 3, the fear that grasped me in those early days has virtually gone and we bounce through our days with a general feeling of safety. Today though, during our usual post-nursery chats, Little Man said something that made my eyes pricked with tears. He is a very happy and (sometimes overly) loving little chap and whenever I pick him up from nursery, he is playing with his little friends. But tonight, when we talked about his day at nursery, he said that he hadn’t been playing with one of these little friends because they don’t like him. My heart broke as he sighed.

Am I being unrealistic to think that at 3, he shouldn’t have to worry about being liked? At 3, I want him to be able to just play, to be unashamedly himself. I don’t want him to carry around the burden of wanting to be liked. And then I got thinking about the fact that when I’m not with him, I cannot protect him. I cannot protect him from the hurtful words of other children or anything else for that matter. And then my head started swimming again and I thought of all the things that I cannot protect him from, with me or not. And the anxiety crept into the pit of my stomach and I wonder if I’ll ever lose this fear that I have for him. Will I ever not be scared or consider the what if’s? I look to my parents and how invested they still are in me. At 30, they still worry for me and about me, still feel it when I’m struggling. And it’s obvious that this is what parenting is. When we become parents that anxiety and fear just becomes a part of who we are. So for now, I’ll just be grateful that alongside that anxiety and fear comes a sense of wonderment and joy, that so far, Little Man hasn’t given me too much to worry about.

A few thoughts for a Friday…

So I’ve not really been feeling the love about this journey of late. And if I’m honest, it’s how I’ve been feeling since before the new term started. There were lots of things that were on my mind about what the next year would entail, new lecturer, more assignments, more time away from Little Man and the Husband, higher expectations, the list could go on. And throw into the mix that at the moment, Politicians are very publicly making my chosen career feel so unbelievably undervalued. It has really made me wonder, is this all worth it?! Is it worth it when you’re putting your son to bed and jumping straight into some studying? Is it worth it when you’re driving away from your husband, and your son is crying because he misses his Daddy already? Is it worth it when you’re 30, living with your parents and getting cross that your Mum can’t stack the dishwasher properly?! (Sorry Mum!) And I really questioned if it was worth it when I sat doing some calculations and worked out that despite putting our lives on hold for 3 years in the hope of something better, The Husband and I will still be lucky if we can afford to buy ourselves a cardboard box to live in when I qualify!

With my parents away this week, the only company I’ve had, has been Little Man when he gets home from Nursery. And don’t get me wrong, we have some good chat in the evening, tonight’s topics of choice, how platelets work and what everyone in our house’s favourite colour is. So instead, I have these really annoying thoughts, going round and round in my head, irritating me more and more.

And then, my ‘little’ brother came over. My little brother, who is definitely not little, owns his own house and has a very responsible job. And we chatted. Okay, he chatted, I moaned. And then, when he got home he sent me a message that made most of those ‘what if’s’ evaporate into thin air. He reminded me that, whilst I am right to feel cross about the Government’s lack of value on Nurses and the subsequent poor pay, that is not why I chose this.

I chose to be a nurse because I want to make a difference. And yes, I may not necessarily feel like a superhero every day, but it only takes making the difference to one person for it all to be worth it. Because every person counts.

So, Politicians, you may not value me or what I am doing, but I do not care. I do care for all of those people who’s lives I can have a positive impact upon in my career. I do care that when my son is asked what his Mummy’s job is, he can say with pride “My Mummy is a Nurse”. I care about what is truly important in life and that is why I have chosen to train to be a nurse.

Goodbye Year 1…Goodbye my Friend…

Well folks, that’s it….Year 1, (very almost) DONE! I can hardly believe it.

It will be unsurprising to you all that I have been feeling very reflective this week, thinking of everything that has happened since this crazy journey began in September.

I have re-read a couple of my early blogs in a bid to remind myself how I felt and what my expectations were. I can vividly remember the nerves in the pit of my stomach on that first day, walking over the bridge towards Uni and the millions of questions I had going over and over in my head. And expectations, well I think it’s safe to say, whatever I expected, this year was not it. It has been harder and yet more brilliant than I could ever have imagined!

Look how fresh faced I was before I started?!

So what have I learnt in the past 10 months?

I Am Capable

My learning has not been limited to the world of Nursing, I have learnt SO much about myself during my first year. One of the biggest things is (and yes I am going to look like a big head here) I am smarter and stronger than I ever realised. I have spoken quite openly about my previous experience of Uni and ever since the day I got THAT classification, I have always felt I could have done better. Well the grades I have received throughout the year have gone some way to prove that to me and hope I can keep that up throughout the course. And this year I also got over one of my biggest fears, talking in front of a group of people. In week 1 of the course I shied away from the opportunity to stand up and talk in front of our class and by the end I was able to get an A for a group presentation which had me doing the very thing I have always feared. Amazing!

Dunno if you know, but since I took up running…Dame Kelly Holmes has become my best friend!

I love Running

Speaking of doing things I never thought I would be able to do, I now run. Which trust me is a real shock! Some of my lovely ex-colleagues from Cirencester will recall the Race for Life I completed a few years back. It was pre-Little Man and I had all the time in the world to train but unfortunately, I just couldn’t find the energy (or desire) to train and as a result, I practically crawled across the finish line. And now, I can run 5k, non-stop and even enjoy the experience! And I really couldn’t have picked a better time to find this love of running because, it turns out, it is a really great way of dealing with stress. Which leads me on to my next lesson…

Stress happens

I have lost count of the amount of times I have cried during this year, cried and wondered what the hell I am doing on this course! But with the right support (thanks family), stress can be dealt with and you can always fight another day…and hear I am, heading into Year 2, with no regrets.

Friends are important

So okay, this isn’t a major lesson because I kind of knew this already but really, friends are the ones who have kept me going. It is very much like when I became a Mummy and decided, I already had amazing friends (which I do) and therefore I didn’t need to make “Mummy Friends” because who needs those?! What an idiot! And the same happened when I started Uni, I decided that my plan was to get through the course and as I didn’t NEED any more friends, who cares if I made any?! Again, idiot! The group of friends who I made at Uni have made this year both bearable and enjoyable. Thank-you ladies, you are brilliant. And those amazing friends I had pre-Uni, thank-you! Thank-you for standing by me and putting up with my lack of ability to actually arrange anything or reply to texts!! I love you!

Coffee is almost just as important

In one of my early blogs I mentioned coffee. Oh coffee, this is a friendship that has only become stronger throughout the year. Coffee, I love you. Thank-you for being so dependable and for picking me up when I’m down/keeping me awake when it matters!

My marriage is made of strong stuff

Absence may make the heart grow fonder but it also means you have to work 10x harder to keep a relationship going. During the week I basically move between the role of Student to Mother and back again, both roles are exhausting and leave very little energy for anything else. Thankfully I have a very understanding husband who doesn’t get cross when I have no energy to talk on the phone in the evening or when I arrive home on a Friday night and just want to sit quietly (with a glass of wine, of course). But all joking aside, it is very hard to cram your marriage into 2 days every week and date nights have never been so valuable. Thank-you The Husband for your unwavering support and for putting up with me, I’m lucky to have you.

I’m finally using my degree

One thing that hasn’t changed as the year has gone on is how often I think of my Grandma. I still wish she could see what I have achieved this year but take comfort in the fact that I am certain she would be proud. Wherever you are Grandma, please keep being my driving force, you’re more powerful than coffee.

And on that note, thank-you for reading and for everyone who has given me advice/support this year, I say it a lot but it really does mean the world.

One final shift, an evening of celebrating with my family and then the relaxation can begin!

 

The Uni Mummy, over&out

Here come’s the sun…

This week I’ve been:
Reading…Vogue. This was a real treat, courtesy of Little Man for Mother’s Day, complete with with delicious snacks and peace & quiet.
Listening to…Chain Reaction on BBC Radio 4. Tim Vine interviewing Sir Ken Dodd, hilarious silliness!
Eating…Macaroni Cheese & Roasted Squash. Perfect when you have a slight Adult Headache.
Doing…Visiting Croome Court with The Husband & Little Man.

It’s been a pretty great week here at The Uni Mummy HQ. I have survived a second week of Solo-Parenting and have had a fun-filled weekend with The Husband and Little Man!

This week saw the final taught lecture of my 1st year of the course, which if you ask me is NUTS! It’s only just April for goodness sakes! But before you groan and make a comment about the fact that I am a ‘Part-time Student’…the year itself is not over yet. Do not fear Tax Payers, I still have an exam, ‘Skills Week’ and an 8 week Placement before I can hang up my nurse’s uniform and have a break!

The end of the week saw my final assignment for my Mental Health module in the first year, the dreaded ‘Group Presentation’. When we were put into groups a few weeks ago, I was detached from my usual Uni ladies and put with 3 other fellow students who I had barely spoken to since the start of the year. I’ll be honest, I had a little strop. I was sad that I wouldn’t get to have a legitimate, study-filled excuse to lark about with my friends some more. But you know what, change is actually good! The girls I was put with were genuinely lovely, hard-working and as up for a giggle as the ladies I’ve hung out with since Day 1 of the course. And, although we haven’t had our result back yet, I feel really proud of what we achieved together. A particular achievement for me as during my first degree I lied about completing my presentation just to avoid doing it because I was THAT scared. I write often about the confidence this course is giving me and Friday was a perfect example of that!

Of course, a great achievement, requires a great celebration. So my gang of girlies let me rejoin the pack and on Friday, we hit the town, heels and all! I felt a little nervous, would our, frankly hilarious, banter work outside of the safety of the Uni Canteen? Would everyone get on, 3 hours in? Would everyone else mind that if there is music, I will dance…and dance…and dance?! Needless to say, my nerves were unfounded and we had a fantastic night. There were giggles aplenty and I really feel like it helped us become even closer as a group. And the best part of it all? I only had a mild Adult Headache the next day…that’s not to say that the cheesy, carby Mac n Cheese that the Husband cooked didn’t go down a storm. Delicious.

I’m sure it’ll be no surprise that we have been making the most of the gorgeous weather that seems to have blessed our isles this weekend. We have managed to squeeze in two picnics and more sweet treats than I’d care to admit to. Yesterday we visited Croome Court, somewhere that has been recommended to me on more than one occasion. So we packed up a picnic, a blanket and some bubbles and headed out. Over 3.5 hours later, Little Man was very resistant to leave, despite being on his feet nearly the whole time and even after he went flying and got his first matching set of grazed knees! Poor Little Man. Despite the injuries, we really did have a fantastic time and I really recommend it as a day out for families, especially if you can duplicate the beautiful weather we enjoyed! We didn’t visit the house itself but there were lots of bridges to scramble over, a beautiful lake to walk around and a small play park for those who aren’t exhausted enough by the big hill!

Next week is the first full week I have spent with Little Man since Christmas and I’m really looking forward to it. So check back next week and I shall fill you in on all of our Easter Holiday fun!

The Uni Mummy, over&out x

 

 

Silence is golden, unless you write a blog! Sorry!

Sorry for the quiet everyone. I had a couple of tough weeks. It felt like everything was spinning out of control, away from me. It all ended in a big, messy meltdown where I sobbed to an unsuspecting employee of the University who could not have been more calm, caring and compassionate.

I hadn’t realised, but I had been trying to keep a lid on the stress I was experiencing. It’s a bit of an overused analogy but I really was like a swan on the water, going about my daily life ‘coping’ but underneath it all I was crumbling and desperately trying to hold it together. And then I snapped.

Little Man decided he definitely didn’t want to wear his socks or in fact, any of his uniform and ran off like a greyhound around a race track as soon I got within a metre of him with aforementioned uniform. And so I lost it. I shouted, I cried and I begged him to just behave. But when I look back, I realise Little Man wasn’t REALLY the reason for my stress and it wasn’t him I was REALLY cross with.

I had an essay due in the following week, whose conclusion I had been battling with for days and things with the Husband had been tough. This whole living apart thing is a struggle sometimes. We have to fit in to a weekend, everything that your average couple skips over during the week. The things I took for granted, like sharing little daily stories about his work and my lectures and all the boring stuff we have to sort as grown ups like Car Services and when we’re going to squeeze in visits to the extended family. And of course, some nights I would just like to cuddle up on the sofa and not say anything at all. I know that we’re strong enough as a couple to get through this adventure but that doesn’t make it easy!

SO, as there’s not a fat lot The Husband and I can do about living under the same roof, unless someone wants to buys us a house, I decided to try and fix what I can, me! So thanks to my wonderful Uni I have joined a meditation class for free and although I’m only one class in, I feel SO much better. I’m sure part of that is just having my meltdown and recognising I need to spend more time on myself but the meditation definitely helped too.

So I am a week and a half into my month of solo-parenting whilst my lovely parents swan about in sunny Spain and although it’s not been easy, I am trying my very best to at least acknowledge the things stressing me out and if I can, try and fix them. And the emergency chocolates I bought have remained untouched which I think speaks volumes!!

I have some plans for the blog which I hope to sort out in the next couple of weeks and will try and keep you posted more often.

Hope everyone has been keeping well in my absence and you’ve all been enjoying this gorgeous weather we’ve been having. Today was my final taught lecture of the first year, how did that happen?!? And on that note, I have some studying to do…

The Uni Mummy, over&out x

Monday Monday…

Monday Morning…we meet again!

So I am on the final straight now of Placement and despite the fact that I know I am going to miss it (who saw that coming at the start?!), my mind and body is ready for a break! Ward life is non-stop! Continuous laps of the ward mean my hips and back are aching and the up and down nature of acutely ill patients make for a very tired mind. I have my Final Interview with my Mentor this week, so with any luck, by Friday I will be celebrating a ‘Pass’ for my first Placement. It has been such an eye-opening experience and I am hoping that after it’s done I will be able to, somehow, find the words to sum up this incredible experience for you all.

Kind of sad he didn’t make me one!

Outside of Placement, I continue to cram the rest of my life in to every waking moment! One of the (many) things that I struggle with in this crazy life we’re currently leading, is keeping in touch with friends. So on Tuesday, to be able to spend a couple of hours child-free, catching up with one of my oldest friends was heaven and doing it whilst enjoying a delicious Cream Tea was an added bonus! Wednesday was my day off with Little Man, we spent the morning doing some painting and then turned his creations into some cute Valentine’s Day cards for his Grandparents, Daddy and one of his little friends. When I asked him if there was anyone else he wanted to make one for, he said himself…not sure he entirely grasps the concept of Valentine’s Day but we’re working on it!! After his lunchtime nap, we spent the afternoon snuggled up on the sofa reading and then playing a game about phonics. Not only was Little Man an angel ALL day but we didn’t spend anytime playing cars…now if every day off could be that perfect, I would be the happiest Mummy ever! I have been contemplating the lack of cross words that Little Man and I have had with one another lately and trying to work out what the cause of this is. Is it an age thing? Is his ability to vocalise his wants and needs so eloquently, diverting potential sources of frustration? Is it because I am less stressed and more confident since starting Placement and as such, not so easily wound up? Is it just a phase? Will normal service resume shortly?! Whatever it is, I am savouring every moment!

Okay, I admit it, I enjoyed myself too…especially seeing Lady Penelope’s Car in the ‘flesh’.

Any lack of cars that I enjoyed on Wednesday was certainly made up for on Saturday… as we spent the day at the British Motor Museum aka Little Man’s idea of heaven! The Museum is in Gaydon near Warwick and is aptly, based next to the Jaguar Land Rover factory. Anyone else out there with a car-obssessed child, I cannot recommend this place enough. It is big enough to house a huge array of different cars/trucks etc. but not too big for a 2 year old to require his pushchair. All of the staff were super friendly, making such a fuss of Little Man and clearly shared his passion for cars as they were really knowledgeable too. And even better than all of that, as we Gift Aid-ed our ticket price, we have now got a year’s pass for no extra cost which means we can go back again and again! Excellent!

Loved up with these beauties!

After our busy day on Saturday and because of the hideous weather, we made the executive decision to spend Sunday indoors. What better thing to do when you’re indoors but don an apron and do some Family baking?! So continuing our Valentine’s theme we have made these amazing Passion Fruit and Raspberry cupcakes complete with red hearts courtesy of Tiger. They were really easy to make. Little Man especially enjoyed ‘Smushing’ the Passion Fruit pulp through the sieve and eating a stray raspberry!

And finally, in other exciting news at The Uni Mummy HQ, the Husband has a new job! We are all particularly excited about this news as it will cut about 20 minutes off his journey to us on the weekends and is also within cycling distance of where he is living with his parents, which means some crucial penny saving! Hoorah!

And on that happy note, I shall love and leave you all. I hope this week is a successful one and if not, it’s only 5 days until the weekend!

City of Stars, are you shining just for me?

Good Morning and more importantly, Happy Hump Day!

I hope everyone is well and not too cold?! Another good week here at The Uni Mummy HQ. (i’m just going to skim over the fact that I am coming down with a cold, eugh.)

Little Man meet Elgar…Elgar meet Little Man

Last weekend was my first whole weekend off from Placement in a few weeks which was great as it meant quality time with The Husband and The Little Man. Due to Little Man’s current obsession with all things Thomas, we thought we’d take a little day trip on the train. He definitely got the true British train experience as the train we had planned to catch was cancelled, great. Thankfully we didn’t have to wait/freeze our toes off for too long and I don’t think he minded too much as it meant an extra trip in the lift to change platforms, apparently he loves anything that moves.

Malvern Priory in the fog.

When we eventually got there, we had a great time wandering around Great Malvern, it was beautiful even when freezing cold and thick with fog! We made a pitstop for lunch at Gallery 36 which I can thoroughly recommend, the food was delicious (Children’s menu went down a storm) and the staff were great. Plus, by catching the train, both Mummy AND Daddy were able to try their own ‘Gallery 36’ beer which also went down a storm. It was a little trip down memory lane for me as in my previous life as a care-free teenager, it was known as ‘Ollie’s’ and the bar I frequented with my friends. I’m glad to say it’s had quite a makeover since those days and the smell of stale beer has been well and truly abolished. On Sunday after more embracing the cold and a walk through the woods, we had a very lazy day. Little Man spent hours playing with my brother’s Thomas the Tank Engine set, he didn’t care that it is about 20 years old and we all enjoyed a change from his non-stop playing with cars!

Lunchtime tipple

Also on the weekend The Husband and I managed to sneak in a Date Night (thank-you Grandparents for babysitting). It’s so tempting when you’re working full-time and exhausted, to just go to bed early and basically have no life. But, this year, as I am channeling “You can’t pour from an empty cup”, it is important that I am happy in all aspects of my life, especially my marriage. So, on Saturday night, we spent an extortionate amount of money on popcorn and sweets, I utilised my student status to get a cheap ticket and we went to see ‘La La Land’. Now, if you are, like I, a fan of ‘The Gosling’, stop whatever you’re doing right now and book yourself a ticket to see it, now, go. I mean, he plays the piano, sings and dances, what’s not to like!?! But seriously, even if you’re not a Gosling fan, it really does live up to the rave reviews it’s been getting. Beautiful, touching and the soundtrack is immense. And now I have ‘City of Stars’ stuck in my head again…

In other news, Placement is still going really well. The realisation that I only have 4 weeks left brings with it a mix of emotion. I am SO looking forward to shorter hours, seeing my Uni ladies, not having to do the hideous commute (especially when it’s foggy) and being able to do the drop/off pick up of for nursery. BUT, at the same time, I am really going to miss working with the patients, the thrill of not knowing what my day will entail and most of all, the brilliant people I get to work alongside. Everyone has made me feel so welcome on the ward and I leave each shift feeling like what I have done really matters and that is so satisfying!!

When I started this journey to becoming a Mental Health Nurse, due to my lack of experience, it was the Placement bit of my training that I was really apprehensive about. But the past 7 weeks have shown me that I really need to give things ago before I assume I’ll be rubbish at them. I’m also left thinking, if I have learnt this much and changed this much in Placement one, what is in store for me over the next 5?!

Snail Mail wins!

And finally, for anyone who doesn’t follow me on Instagram, I received some lovely post from one of my oldest friends this week so to reiterate what I said on there, I really couldn’t do this without your support. So, thank-you.

Have a good one everyone!

The Uni Mummy, over&out x

Happy New Year’s Eve!

I started to write a post where I reflected on 2016, the highs, the lows and everything in between. But what happened to me and my little family in the past 12 months has been pretty well documented on here already and I’d hate to bore you all over again! So I’m going to keep this short and (sickly) sweet.

So at the turn of the year I only really have two things to say…

Firstly, thank-you! And I mean, you! I started this blog with the goal of inspiring other people. What I didn’t count on was how much support and encouragement I would receive from you lot. So, for everyone who has left me comments, liked one of my photos/posts or even just read them, thank-you! Truly, thank-you! You are all bloody brilliant!

And secondly, you can do it. I hate to sound like a broken record but I really truly believe that we are capable of more than we give ourselves credit for. Sometimes it’s not easy, (see previous posts where I sound like I’m about to give up). But, doing something you love, whatever it may be, is what life is about. The journey to get there may seem like an arduous one, impossible even, but if you want it, you will find a way! Even if it does mean living with your parents at 29. Yeah, sorry Mum and Dad!

Thirdly, (yes, I know I said two but I’m on a roll), please spread the above message. If someone you know mentions an idea they’ve got about something they want to do with their lives, encourage them. Give them your support and help them work out the finer details later. No dream is achieved without an army of cheerleaders surrounding you.

Now go and have a super New Year’s Eve, enjoy it, survive the hangover tomorrow and THEN, go and grab 2017 with both hands and make it your year.

Happy New Year, you lovely lot!

The Uni Mummy, over&out x

I Survived!

I survived my first week of Placement, hoorah! And not only did I survive but I actually enjoyed myself!!

I think that I may have mentioned that I was a little bit nervous about this week but as always, the unknown is terrifying and rarely lives up to the scary situation we build up in our heads! As someone with very little exposure to a ward environment and no experience working with those who are acutely mentally ill, the only preconceptions I had were really based on fictional environments from Television and Film which are so far removed from reality (thank goodness!)

Not only have I learnt what life on the ward is really like but I have learnt a major lesson about myself. During my 6 years employed in Sales, I was often stressed and I always put it down to the hectic and pressured environment I was working in. This week I have learnt that in the right context, I absolutely thrive on pressure. Although it has, at times, been a bit of a baptism by fire, I have not felt stressed and instead I have bounced along on the ups and downs and enjoyed the butterflies that fill my stomach when I think of the unknown what awaits me when I start my shift. How great that at 29, I am still learning what makes me tick?!

It will be of no surprise to you that I am exhausted. Before Monday, it was 796 days since I had been employed full-time and by Friday, I could feel it!! Unlike my previous employment, aside from my lunch break, I was on my feet all day! Thankfully for my slabs of meat, I have invested in some brilliant work shoes and I haven’t got a single blister. Win! Not only is my body tired but my poor brain has been flooded with new information and could now do with a holiday, (Florida’s nice this time of the year, right?!) I have been so tired that I have been completely antisocial after shift and it took until Wednesday evening for me to actually feel like I could relax, (a small glass of wine and The Missing definitely helped!) The University do what they can to prepare us all for Placement, but in truth, it’s only when you see things being put into practice that they start falling in to place. Learning ‘Hospital Corners’ is vital, drug names now have a context on how, why and when they are used and the importance of checking blood pressure as a Mental Health Nurse is now apparent…although I have to say, I am yet to make good use of all that A&P revision!

£3.50 Brunch, thank-you Morrisons!

 

And how has Little Man coped without me for two evenings this week I hear you cry?! Well of course he has been an absolute angel for his Grandparents!! Gone to bed with little fuss and has even slept until the sun has come up on his GroClock…and what did he do when we were back to sharing? Woke me up at 5.30 didn’t he?! Oh Little Man!! I am crossing everything that he doesn’t do the same this week when I start my 12 hour shifts (yes, I am crying a little at the thought!) One blessing about this week is that I’ve been so busy during the day and so tired when I get home that I hit the hay pretty promptly, leaving little time to think about Little Man. I did, however, have an almighty pang of Mum Guilt that brought some tears to my eyes in Morrisons Cafe of all places. I was sat enjoying (okay, destroying) my cooked breakfast when I saw a Mum and her son (about Little Man’s age) enjoying a little lunch date. I could hear them having similar discussions about why it wasn’t okay to have a second chocolate bar instead of the dinner she had bought him and it really got to me. I felt awful that I was sat annihilating my brunch when I could/should have been hanging out with my son and arguing with him about why in Winter, coats are non-negotiable! Damnit Mum Guilt, you got me again!

I’ve managed to put the Mum-guilt at bay by making sure we make the most of the weekend together by filling the house with Christmas fun. We’ve made Christmas presents for the family, decorated chocolate biscuits and watched The Polar Express (much more successful than ‘Happy Feet’, I realise now that the Seal chase scene is terrifying, oops!) And as for getting over the tiredness, well an afternoon nap was an easy option! Now, all I need to do is get through the next two weeks! It’s only 6, 12 hour shifts, how hard can that be?!

Thank-you to Leibniz for providing shelter for the Jelly Baby Family!

I’ll leave you with this photo of the beautiful Christmas Houses we’ve made for the Jelly Baby family and hope you’re enjoying the build up to Christmas as much as us!

Happy Monday!